I'm Not a Playa Chapter 31
‘Back in Tulsa' Taylor thought as he walked down the familiar streets of his neighborhood.
Whenever he returned to home, he always realized how much he missed it. His home was the
only place where he truly found comfort.
"Huh?" Taylor turned around in reaction to his name being called.
"Can you come in for a sec?" It was Rachel's brother Jeff standing on his porch.
"Why?" Taylor wasn't in the mood to see him. He knew there was going to be a sex speech
"I just need to tell you something."
"Ugh.." Taylor muttered under his breath walking past the porch and into the house.
"Sit down. It'll be fast." Jeff closed the door behind them.
Taylor took a seat on the same couch he sat on the last time he was there. Being in Rachel's
house was always weird considering he hung out there all the time when she was alive.
"Listen Tay." Jeff put his hand on Taylor's knee. Taylor eyes immediately became locked on this
occurrence. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable,"
Taylor tried to take his mind off of the hand on his leg, but he was a little grossed out. That was
something that was making him feel discomfort. Looking up at Jeff he started to realize how
much he looked like Rachel. Enraptured in this, Jeff had to shake him to make sure he was all
right. "What?" Taylor snapped out of it.
"Yeah, I am."
"There's no simpler way to put this so I'm going to say it straight out," Jeff squeezed Taylor's
Taylor shifted his right ankle over his left causing Jeff's hand to slip off his knee, exactly like he
had intended. "Okay.."
"I like you."
"Um..." Taylor was confused.
"I think you're sexy and it's obvious that you're bisexual so maybe, if you want, you and I could
start seeing each other. I'm not saying this to make you feel weird or anything. I won't tell
anyone about you being... bi."
Taylor was shocked. Maybe not about Jeff liking him, but did he give off gay vibes or
something? Because he was sure there was no part of him interested in guys. "No offense, but
you're wrong." He stood up.
"Don't lie. It will just make things more difficult. Face the facts." Jeff took Taylor's hand
looking directly into the eyes he loved so much.
Taylor couldn't think straight. How did he even get himself into this situation? "Um... I think
your going to have to face the facts." He walked to the door.
"No wait!" Jeff grabbed Taylor.
"What the fu..." One second Taylor was beginning to make a remark and the next Jeff's lips were
on his. He was so perplexed he didn't think to push away. The thought of a guy kissing him just
seemed so disgusting that his mind was filled with that one notion.
Jeff shoved Taylor away from him. "Don't tell me you didn't like that." He insisted.
"Um, I have to go." Taylor was in a daze of puzzlement. Walking out of the house, he began to
shake his head trying to figure out what had just gone on. He stood there in a nauseating trance
but was quickly brought back to earth when someone bumped into him rather hard. "OW!"
Taylor yelled falling to the ground.
"Wha..." Taylor opened his eyes. "Sammy! Something nasty just happened!" He was about to go
on when he noticed her crying hysterically.
"T-taylor. My step-father is after me! I have to go, I have to go fast!" She stood up starting to run.
"Wait!" Taylor snatched her arm. "Where exactly are you going to go?!" He asked once he had
gotten her attention.
"I don't know!" She cried. "He has a knife! He saw me running! He's going to catch me and kill
me! I know he's not just trying to scare me this time!"
"Come on." Taylor started to run still holding onto her arm.
"Where are we going?!"
Taylor didn't answer. When they arrived in his backyard he turned to her. "Your step-father isn't
just going to roam around town carrying a knife, is he?" Taylor asked finding the thought too far
"He was chasing me through this woods area. Some acres of land with just trees. You know, near
the entrance to the river. Well, I got to the street and started running. I mean... oh god..."
"What did you do to make him so upset?"
"He was drinking and something fell and he woke up and.."
"Shhh. I understand." Taylor wrapped his arms around Samantha.
"I don't know where I'm going to go and.."
"Shhh," Taylor rocked her gently. "Calm down okay?"
"He's going to kill me."
"Sammy, relax. He's not going to kill you." Taylor tried to soothe her.
Samantha stepped away from Taylor. "I'm sorry for bringing you into this. Sometimes I act like
my problems are the biggest in the world." Looking down at the ground she couldn't remember if
she had apologized. "Sorry." She muttered again.
Taylor looked at her as if she had a huge mental problem. "Listen Sammy, you're step-father just
tried to kill you! I think that problem is pretty damn big if you ask me!" He felt as if he needed to
knock some sense into her.
"He usually threatens me... this is just the first time he chased me with a knife.. But that's not the
point. The point is that you don't have to help me. You and I, we hardly know each other. You
don't have to solve my problems for me."
"What if I want to? And what if I consider you a friend?!"
"Your famous! People who are famous only consider the ‘beautiful' people their friends. I'm not
the type of girl who could be your friend."
"That is definitely not true!" Taylor exclaimed. "And... and you are beautiful." He quietly added
not sure if he wanted her to hear it.
"Hold on a sec." Samantha sat on the Hanson's hammock thinking.
"What's wrong?" Taylor sat next to her.
"I'm just worried and saying stuff. I'm not a fun person to talk to when I'm like this." Samantha
"Do you want go to my room and lay down?" Taylor asked quietly. He could tell Samantha
didn't feel well.
"I don't really want to bother you and your family."
"Uggghh...come.. on." Taylor walked her into the house. He had now learned that it was bad
asking Samantha something because she constantly worried about the other peoples reactions. It
was pretty quiet in the house. Diana, Avie, and Mackie were the only people home. Walker had
went off to handle some business, Jessica had went over to her friends house, Isaac had went to
see Ella and Zac was going to all his friends houses, personally inviting them to his party. Taylor
wasn't sure why his brother decided to do that, maybe because he needed to get away from the
same everyday faces. "You can take my bed. Top bunk." Taylor pointed to it once they were in
"No problem." Taylor switched the brothers N64 on.
"What do you think I should do about my step-father?" She asked laying her head on her hands.
"I think you shouldn't get yourself worked up about it right now. Zac has a huge birthday party
tomorrow so you can stay here and help set up tonight. Then there's a sleep over tomorrow so
your pretty much set. I'm sure my parents won't mind if I make sure they know your only a
friend." Taylor searched for a level on the Super Mario 64 game. He and his brothers were
always trying to collect all the stars to it but never had enough time to.
"What would I do if I never met you Tay?" Samantha wondered.
Taylor turned around. "That wouldn't have happened. You and I would have met no matter what.
It was planned that way."
"Not everything is planned."
"Well we met so whatever." Taylor mumbled turning back to the TV screen and choosing a
Samantha sat up pushing her shoulder length chestnut hair behind her hears. "You seem stressed
out." She observed.
Taylor turned the TV off and spun around to Samantha. "A guy kissed me." He stated, a blank
expression on his face.
"Yeah, right before I bumped into you." Taylor stood up. "He said he thinks I'm... bisexual."
"Did you like the kiss?"
"No, it's not that..." Taylor climbed onto the bed across from Samantha. "When you met me did
you think any part of me was.. you know ... gay?"
"With your reputation you seem as straight as a toothpick."
"Yeah well, Jeff seemed to think it was bent." Taylor chuckled.
"Rachel's brother Jeff?"
"Yeah... and that's what also makes this weird. But I'm just thinking, what could have made Jeff
think I was bi?"
"Maybe the hair... I mean, sorry to tell you this but you are a bit... feminine looking."
"Man, I can't cut my hair. It's in our contract..."
"So put it back more often."
"I usually do... but, hey! It wasn't back when he did that!" Taylor immediately pulled his hair
into a low tail. "Yep that's good... what else?"
"Get an earring!" Samantha nearly jumped at her brilliant idea.
"That won't help... That will just make me look more girlish..."
"No! Make sure you get it on your left ear!"
"I don't know, maybe... But last time Zac asked mom if he could get one and she said no..."
"Tay, your fifteen. I'm sure you can get one."
"Yeah, I'll ask. Hey, wanna see something really manly?" Taylor grinned.
"Um, if its in your pants then n..."
"No!" Taylor started laughing as he lifted up his shirt and turned around.
"Okay, your parents let you get a tattoo but your worried that they won't let you get an earring?!"
Samantha found that odd.
Taylor let his shirt fall back onto his chest. "They don't know."
"Wow Tay, I'd say that was pretty macho, not smart but daring enough."
Taylor eyes lit up and he smiled. "Yep, I honestly don't know why Jeff thought I was gay
because I am obviously not."
"If anything I'm overly straight."
Taylor grinned. Samantha actually helped him get over his most recent problem. Maybe it would
be good to have her around...
"Isaac!" Ella jumped into his arms. "I missed you like crazy!"
"Same here!" Isaac beamed walking into her house. "Is your dad home?"
"Nope, he's working."
"Good, let's go to your room." Isaac smiled as he grabbed Ella's waist laying a kiss on the lips he
missed so much.
"Wow Ike, a little horny since I last saw you?" Ella chortled taking him across the hall to her
"I guess love makes you feel strange things." Isaac laughed gently throwing Ella onto her bed and
transferring himself on top of her. Ella gladly returned all of his kisses. "Isaac..." She giggled
softly pushing him away from her. "Why don't you tell me about your trip?" She asked still
Isaac fingered her belly button ring, sensitively tickling her stomach. "What do you want to
"Did you meet any interesting people or have any fascinating interviews? Stuff like that." Ella
intertwined her fingers with his. She hated being tickled.
"Ummm, nope." Isaac kissed her.
"Oh god... You are really aroused."
"I've just missed being with you." Isaac admitted. "How come your rooms so drab?" He changed
the subject a bit fixed on why everything was mostly black including the blankets and walls.
"Because the dark makes everything mystical." Ella smiled sitting up. Now she wanted to kiss
"I think we should paint your walls yellow." Isaac laughed standing up and attentively scanning
Ella took a big breath. "Ike, stop looking at my stuff, okay?"
"Witchcraft?" Isaac took a book out of her shelves.
Ella looked away from him as if she were ready to hear some attitude.
"Why do you have so many witchcraft books?" The question was stupid really. Isaac could have
been able to answer it himself if he wasn't hoping that what seemed so obvious wasn't. "Ella?"
Isaac questioned. Why wasn't she answering?
"It's not really a big deal." Ella didn't make eye contact.
"I knew something like this was going on." Isaac held up the book.
"Something like what?" Ella looked up at him feeling insulted.
"I should have seen it. Your always wearing black, you have the weirdest CD collection, your a
bit depressing... God I'm so blind."
"Listen Isaac." Ella stood up facing him. "When you are upset or wishful you have your religion
to turn to. I don't have anything like that so I chose to make black magic what I believe in. There
is nothing wrong with that." She snatched the book out of his possession.
"Why can't you make Christianity what you believe in?"
"Because I don't believe in God!" Ella snapped.
"Then who do you suppose made you're little voodoo religion if not God?!"
Ella felt tears swell in her eyes. "I'm sorry," She started. "that I don't believe in what you do. I
told you when you said you wanted a relationship with me, that I was an atheist..."
"An atheist but not a fucking witch!" Isaac interrupted. "It's not that your a witch, it's the fact
that you never told me!"
"I was going to! I just couldn't find the right time and... besides I'm not a witch!"
Isaac shook his head in disappointment, which only made Ella feel lower then shit.
"Like you've told me everything you've done!" She turned the blame to him.
"I haven't but the stuff I've done isn't as big as what you do! You know what, I don't want to
fight. I'm outta here." Isaac made his way to Ella's front door.
"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?!" Ella cried.
"Because it's a big deal! You told me you were something your not!"
"I'm sorry okay!?"
"I need time to think..." Isaac opened the door. "Just don't put any spells on me while I'm taking
"You don't know anything about witchcraft so just shutup!" Ella slammed the door behind him.
Usually after someone slammed a door on someone they felt like they had gotten the last word. In
this case Ella unquestionably did not feel that way.
Taylor searched his room for the phone. He always forgot where stuff was after being some place
else. "Mom! Where's the phone?!" Taylor stomped out of his room.
"It's down here. Our other one broke." Taylor was guessing the phone that broke was the one he
threw against the wall when he thought that Skye and him were officially over. "Oh thanks."
Taylor took it from her.
"Did you forget about your beeper honey? I found it in bottom of your bag. You have a lot of
"Oh yeah, I did." Taylor took it from Diana. "Thanks mom." He walked upstairs to his room. He
started to dial Chris's number to invite him to Zac's party.
"Hello?" Chris's older step-sister Robyn picked up.
"Hey is Chris there? It's Taylor."
"Oh hey Taylor! I saw you guys on Regis and Kathy Lee! Did they cut stuff out in there because
it looked messed up?"
"Yeah they did." Taylor laughed at the thought of Zac's outburst.
"Oh okay. Well, I hate to tell you this but Chris is in the hospital."
"He has to have some tests run. It turns out he's HIV positive." Robyn wasn't at all happy to tell
Taylor the news.
Taylor was stunned. Most of the girls Chris slept with he did too, but he couldn't be HIV
positive. He had gotten his tests taken. This was definitely worrying him. "Do you think he'll be
"I'm not sure. They might have him stay overnight."
"Oh... okay thanks."
"I'll tell him to call you when he gets back."
"Yeah thanks." Taylor hung up. This was unmistakably a reality check. Suddenly a bad feeling
came over him. He felt alone. Then he looked over at Samantha. She was sound asleep. If anyone
in the world was lonely, it had to be her. She didn't have anyone.
"I am so mad!" Isaac stormed into the bedroom breaking Taylor's thoughts.
"Ella is a fucking witch! And when does she decided to share this news with me?! As soon as I
realize it! I have such bad luck with girls!" Isaac complained.
"You two broke up?" Taylor's eyes were wide.
"I don't know. I told her I had to think... Who's that?" Isaac pointed to the girl in Taylor's bed.
"That's Sammy. You met her once."
"Wait a sec. On the way back from Long Island you told me that you were never going to cheat
on Skye again." Isaac was apparently angry.
"No, Sammy's just a friend!" Taylor corrected. "I'm helping her out, long story."
Isaac was a bit suspicious but believed Taylor. "So anyway can you believe what a liar Ella is?!
She was never going to tell me!"
"It was kind of obvious she was some kinda devil worshipper or something. I mean, look at the
way she dresses." Taylor pointed out.
"Yeah I know... I'm so oblivious."
"Anyway, you remember Chris right?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Well he's HIV positive."
"Oh my god... that is so weird. You know, everything in our town is depressing."
"What do you mean? Just because Ella is a witch everything is depressing? I mean, Chris is HIV
positive! That's cruel Ike."
"That's not what I mean. Do you remember the girl you brought over for dinner that night?"
Isaac remembered what his friend told him earlier. "The one who kept giving me googly eyes?"
"Yeah, well the night we left for New York City she was found in the street dead."
"The night we left for New York?" That was the night she had come over to their house and told
Taylor to drop dead. "Why?!"
"It turns out she was bulimic or anorexic which was obvious. I don't know which one but they
said she fainted and got hit by a car..."
"Who told you this?!"
"My friend heard it. It was in the newspaper and stuff. It's so sad that she wasted her life like
"Oh god..." Taylor stood up. "I have to take a walk.
"Are you okay?" Isaac noticed Taylor a little dazed about this whole thing.
"No." Taylor left the room throwing on his jacket and heading outside. He needed air. ‘This is
my fault.' He thought. ‘I'm the one Brianna came to see that night. She never would have been
dead if she didn't visit. She never would have visited if I never used her. And why didn't I help
her with her eating disorder?' Taylor was lost in his thoughts. "I'm a murderer..." He silently
cried at the concept. Everything was going to come back to him, he knew it. Things weren't
going to get better. It was all going downhill from here.
"Tay, your beeper keeps going off." Samantha handed it to him. "I don't think you checked the
messages. What are you doing out here so late?"
"I'm a murderer." He spoke silently.
"What?" Samantha sat in the patio chair across from him. She put the pager on the table in case
he wanted to check it later. "What do you mean?"
"I could of helped her but instead I chose to use her." Taylor kept his eyes glued on the table.
"Who cares? I should have helped her. And my friend Chris. He's HIV positive. I'm the one who
told him to go out and have sex in the first place. I'm his biggest and worst influence."
"Taylor, Chris had a choice. You didn't force him to make that decision. As for the other girl, I
don't understand what your talking about."
"She had an eating disorder and I raped her. And the stupid thing is, I never had the notion to just
mind my own business and let her kill herself. I had to annoy her and annoy her until I had gotten
what I wanted and then it ended up being my fault in the end. God, I'm a jerk."
"She was going to die whether you did what you did or not. And it's like you don't regret what
you did. It sounds to me like your pretty upset over this."
Taylor looked up at Samantha. "I don't want to face anyone. I'm afraid it's all going to get worse.
I have this really bad feeling."
"That's not true Tay. Things happen, bad and good."
Taylor stood up. "I'm going to bed."
"Did you ask if I can stay?"
"Mom said yeah as long as we're not in the same bed. She caught my girlfriend and I having sex
once so it's like a rule for me now."
"Oh, so you have a girlfriend?" Samantha followed him inside.
"Yeah, what about you? Did you and Darian hook up yet?"
"He told Liz he liked me but that's about it." Samantha shrugged. "I think he knows about my
step-father and is scared or something."
"Oh." Taylor laughed. It was probably one of the only laughs he had gotten all day.
Samantha smiled. "Yep, whatda woos."
"They set up the death-mattress for you." Taylor grinned pointing to the guest ‘bed' on the floor.
"It's better then laying in a nice bed being too scared to sleep." Samantha sat on the mattress.
"Guess so. But, just to warn you, between my five younger brothers and sisters you won't get
much sleep in the morning." Taylor chuckled climbing into bed.
"I'll be all right. Jessica likes the Backstreet Boys so she's good company."
"You like the Backstreet Boys?" Taylor asked turning over.
"I love them!" Samantha lit up.
"Good, maybe you can take a fourth row ticket and backstage pass off my hands and go with Jess
"Wow, fourth row? Backstage?! That's a dream come true! I would love to go if you and your
parents don't mind!" Samantha was whispering but her excitement could still be heard.
"Great and trust me, I don't mind!" Taylor laughed to himself falling asleep.
"Toddddday is myyyyyy biiiiiiirrrthhhhdaaaayyyyy!!!!! Haappy Birrrthhdaaay toooo meeeee!
Happppy Biiiirthhdaaay toooo me!!!! Happppy Biiiirrrthdaaay toooo meeee, Happpppy
Biiiirrrrrthhhhdaaaay toooo MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Zac finished his little song clapping for himself.
"WE NEED MORE DECORATIONS!!!!" He yelled to his dad coming down the den stairs.
"Your not even supposed to be having this party after what happened at Regis and Kathy Lee."
Walker needed to remind Zac of this. "I can't believe you kids planned this behind my back." He
emptied the chips and pretzels in bowls on the long party table.
"La la la la!!!" Zac was extremely hyper.
... But upstairs things were taking on a different tone of expression.
"It was just a dream!" Samantha told a gushing Taylor trying to calm him down. Isaac stayed by
her side, both in front of Taylor who was sitting on Isaac's bed.
"No, she's dead!" Taylor yelled. "You heard the endless rings! She's not picking up! She's
dead!" Taylor repeated leaning his elbows on his knees and his forehead in his hands.
"Skye is not dead! She's just not home! She has school!" Isaac couldn't get Taylor to loosen up.
"Of course Skye's dead! Everyone I know dies! EVERYONE!" He wailed.
"Oh my god..." Samantha had never seen Taylor like this. You could definitely say she was
"Everything is my fault! Chris, Brianna, Rachel!"
"Taylor! Stop it! Skye is just fine!" Isaac yelled.
"I have to go to Long Island!" Taylor stood on his feet.
"SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP!" Isaac screamed in fury pushing Taylor back onto the bed. "Skye
is NOT dead! Chris and Brianna have nothing to do with you! I knew Brianna was anorexic! Did
I help her either!? NO! Chris made up his own mind and Rachel had cancer! She was dying!
None of it is your fault! So snap out of your demented little ‘world revolves around Taylor'
universe and GET OVER IT!!" And with those words Isaac left the room.
Silence filled the air for a couple minutes and was broke when Samantha sighed. "... Well...
Taylor was quiet. He had never seen Isaac in such a rage. You could say he felt a tad stupid.
"It was a dream. Nothing else is going to go wrong. Okay?" Samantha embraced Taylor just like
he had done to comfort her yesterday. He didn't hug her back. He was still in awe from his
"What if... what if she did die?" Taylor's lips were quivering.
Samantha backed away from him. "She didn't. You've already lost Rachel. No one is going to
take Skye away from you. I promise."
Taylor looked into Samantha's eyes. "I just love her so much that I can picture losing her and the
feeling is so strong." In a way he was being honest, but in another he was trying to make up for
how stupid he looked practically crying.
Samantha nodded. "Don't worry, okay?"
"Yeah." Taylor looked back down at the floor. As much as he wanted to take Samantha's advice
he couldn't. Something just didn't seem right.
"Hi Zac! Happy Birthday!" Rory gave Zac the wrapped present she bought him and a kiss on the
"Hey cutie." Zac smiled accepting the gift. Parties downstairs!" He put the gift on the kitchen
table. There were so many of them. He couldn't wait to dig in. Grabbing an extra bag of chips he
followed Rory to the basement.
"So how long will you be in Tulsa?" Rory asked him as he caught up.
"A week, I'm not sure." Zac replied.
"Well if your not busy give me a call." She waved.
"Sure," Zac smiled jumping into the party scene. The house was booming with tons of people.
They were dancing, screaming, eating and most of the tag alongs were following Hanson around.
The CD player was blasting all of Zac's favorite albums. Everyone seemed to be having a good
time, everyone except for Taylor.
"Tara! You came!" Zac turned towards her as she made her entrance.
"Yeah, sorry I'm late! Your presents upstairs with the rest." She gave him a quick hug. She
looked over at Taylor. He looked mad. "What's with Taylor?" Tara asked Zac.
"He's in a really weird mood today. He's actually getting better though. Before he wasn't even
down here." Zac watched his brother in the corner re-dialing Skye's number. That's all he had
been doing. Why was he so damn worried?
1 516... Taylor dialed the well known number. He figured the re-dial was too fast. He needed to
keep himself occupied instead of hearing a busy single so soon. "Please pick up."
"Hello?" It was Skye's brother Danny.
"Oh my god! Is Skye there?!"
"Who's this?" Danny asked suspiciously
"You're not allowed to call here."
"Listen, I'm sorry....but I really have to speak with Skye. Is she there?" Taylor's mind was racing
with possibilities and fears.
"Skye's not here... There was an accident." Danny said quietly not wanting to tell Taylor what
wasn't his business.
Taylor could hardly believe his ears. Inside, his mind was screaming, but all he could do was
gasp into the phone. "What happened?" His voice was unsteady.
"Look, I told you, you're not supposed to call here." Danny said angrily. "And It's all your fault!"
"Why is it my fault? Tell me what happened, please." Taylor begged, feeling his eyes water. He
knew something was wrong with her the whole day.
"Well," Danny began. "The ambulance came at around eleven o'clock this afternoon.'"
Suddenly, there was silence.
"Yeah." Taylor choked the word out.
"Look, I gotta go." Danny said quickly.
"Wait" Taylor yelped. And in an instant, all he heard was the dial tone.